"Love is an odd thing. As odd a thing as there is." - Lan, 1: The Flame of Tar Valon, The Great Hunt

I have examined many opinions of Lan and Nynaeve and among the negative ones come frequently "They are only a couple because the writer says they are a couple" and "Nynaeve and Lan instantly fall in love in a matter of pages with no foreshadowing whatsoever!" But the truth of the matter is, Lan and Nynaeve have one of the most well-developed, well-fitting relationships in the entire book, not to mention one of the only ones that can be explained beyond 'The Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills' or 'Part of the Pattern.' Which is why, of course, it is one of the most endearing.

~ ~ x ~ ~

Some women don't want the land, or gold. Just the man...

Nynaeve to Lan

Sure, Nynaeve appears to be attracted to Lan almost instantly. We never hear of Nynaeve's first viewing of him, but when he compliments her she blushes. How can she be attracted to him this quickly? It's certainly not looks that attract her. Obviously she is seeing past this and is attracted to something else. Well, it's quite simple really. He's not your average Two Rivers woolhead. She's never before seen a man like this in Emond's Field. Lan is a man unlike the Perrins and Rands of the world, confident, capable of matching her, capable of sweeping her off her feet. He's a tall, strong guy that sweeps into her little village and although he speaks little, everything he says is to the point. There's an instant recognition of his strength, level-headedness and wisdom.

As the story progresses she learns more and more about him. He demonstrates his knowledge, his skill, his intelligence. She learns that he is a man not to cross. If she ever wanted a man, this is exactly the kind she was looking for. Why wouldn't she begin to fall in love with him? 

However, even if she is at this point, she doesn't recognise it instantly. Instead, she engages in competition with him and he manages to screw her temper without actually doing anything.

Later, when he talks with Agelmar, she learns that underneath his stern exterior is a kind heart, and a sad story. It could be in some part a desire to heal. Lan is almost the epitome of death itself - Aviendha thinks "If death were a man, it would be he." While Nynaeve's ultimate ambition is to heal death.

~ ~ x ~ ~

You have made a place in my heart where I thought there was no room for anything else...

Lan to Nynaeve

At the time when Nynaeve declares her love, Lan is not shocked by her confession. I understand that Lan would barely show shock even if the emotion did rule him at that moment, but for a matter this important I imagine we'd see some reaction. This seems to imply that he has already realised his love for her at this point and/or already knew of her returning feelings for him.

Infact, if you read very carefully, Lan starts showing signs of being very protective of her as early as Chapter 37:-

"Lan looked back at her frequently, and waved for her to come on..." - Nynaeve's POV, 37: The Long Chase, The Eye of the World

Later, he wants to defy Moiraine just to go back for Nynaeve when they think she has gotten herself into trouble in the Whitecloack camp. Then, in the Eye of the World, where he hesitates whether to put himself between Nynaeve or Moiraine and the Forsaken.

Before even that, she seems to get "under his skin" somewhat - she manages to best him in tracking, following the trail that he and Moiraine left behind despite his attempt to cover it, which both impresses and frustrates him. She successfully comes upon he and Moiraine unaware  - we know this irritates Lan - he sheathes his sword "with more force than strictly necessary" and has touches of "chagrin around the mouth" when we know this man almost never displays his emotion.

He is attracted to her inner strength and courage, which she shows from the very beginning. She has been hurled into a new environment of danger and the outside world, but she stands her ground while at the same time throwing herself into battle with Moiraine. Lan learns she is a Wilder, which shows her immense strength in itself - she has conquered this hugely powerful force of her own accord. And although she at this point she has not demonstrated her utter fearlessness (such as when she faced Aginor without a second thought) to Lan, perhaps it is something he can discern or sense. Lan needs a strong woman to be able to accept his lifestyle and overcome his hardness.

The traits of loyalty and wisdom may also appeal to Lan. Nynaeve stays to her beliefs and keeps her loyalties to the Emond's Field folk throughout the whole text. This is something Lan can understand and admire, himself having an iron hard sense of duty, and staying true to his homeland, Malkier, just as Nynaeve does not forget hers. Despite showing rather childish tendancies in books to follow, Nynaeve is wise for her age - picked to become Wisdom of her village out of all the older women and her eyes are described as "ancient in her young face." Being an older man, Lan would understandably be attracted to someone who is wise for her years, and he gets youth and beauty into the bargain too.

Some of you may be thinking 'So what? Most of these traits can also be related to Moiraine.' So here's the bottom line. Nynaeve is hot where Moiraine is cold. She is fierce where Moiraine is cool. Lan's own words: "Fierce as a warrior... a Lioness" vouch for this. These words do not describe Moiraine, Egwene or Elayne - Moiraine is always described as cool, Egwene as Amyrlin shows little emotion, and Elayne's eyes are described as "frosty." It is understandable that Lan would choose a 'warrior' for a lover as the Malkieri are a warrior race. And although Valan Luca's words could simply be honey, I think they could also apply to Lan here: "Let other men choose boring flatterers with their shy sighs. A man would know he had to walk through fire and tame a lioness with his bare hands every time he approached you." Nynaeve is a challenge for him. Lan needs a fierce character to invoke any sort of response from him, otherwise he will maintain his stolid and silent composure. Her frustration, her boldness makes him laugh. Her intensity makes him smile.

He begins to change gradually under her presence - as Moiraine puts it:

"Without trying, without thinking what she was doing, [Nynaeve] had put cracks in Lan's walls and seeded the cracks with creepers. Lan thought he was secure, imprisoned in his fortress by fate and his own wishes, but slowly, patiently, the creepers were tearing down the walls to bare the man within."

He smiles, he jokes, he trembles, he shows loyalties to those other than Moiraine (eg. Rand) and on two ocassions he makes promises to Nynaeve that would break his oaths to Moiraine. Firstly, when he gives her his ring, he swears to come to Nynaeve "without delay and without fail" if she sends for help. Also, he later offers to come to Tanchico with her for protection, when he knows Moiraine is heading in a different direction.

Not to mention many other little quirky traits that tie Lan and Nynaeve together. For one, he learns she is an expert at woodcraft; unusual for a woman, to say the least, and a skill he shares. And this passage from The Eye of the World always struck me as an amusing likeness between the two:

"... One of the red-uniformed soldiers appeared in the doorway. He seemed resplendent to Nynaeve, in his peaked helmet and burnished breastplate, until he took a pose just inside the door, with a hand resting on the hilt of his sword and a stern look on his face, and used a finger to ease his too-tight collar. It made her think of Cenn Buie trying to act the way a Village Councilor should. Lan spared him one glance and snorted. "Militia. Useless.""

Can you imagine Nynaeve doing exactly the same thing? I can. Lan also has a temper almost to match that of Nynaeve's when he is provoked; perhaps he even has the talent to better it! We get a glimpse of his temper when he learns Nynaeve is going to Tanchico and even then he has not reached "breaking point."

Think about it. She punches a black sister in the face. She's sick over the side of the boat. She gets into a fist fight with the old Amyrlin. She doesn't behave like a normal Aes Sedai. And as hard as she tries, I don't think she'll ever be a picture of Aes Sedai calm. And I think that is one of the reasons that Lan loves her.